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15 October 2005 @ 02:27 am
#30: Death  
Title: No Tomorrow
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Pairing, etc: AJ/Brian/Howie
Prompt: #30: Death
Word Count: 456
Rating: PG


Howie barely takes notice when they walk into his hotel room. He's sitting on the bed, still in the same clothes he's been wearing for three days now, staring into space. He doesn't want to break this moment. He'll do something irrational if he breaks it. Maybe he'll cry again.

The bedsprings protest loudly when they sit down next to him. He doesn't even flinch. A hand rests on his thigh, unmoving, and he can recognize Brian's touch even though he still hasn't looked at him once.

"She-" He clears his throat before he can continue. "I didn't make it in time. The funeral's on Friday, so … I have to go back tomorrow. I don't even know why I came back. I … I mean, it's stupid, it's-"

Brian pulls him closer; kisses his temple gently. Howie takes a deep breath and finally moves his gaze, looks at AJ instead, AJ whose eyes are big and beautiful and merciless.

"Why her?" Howie asks. "Why now?"

"I don't know," AJ says quietly.

Brian runs a hand through Howie's hair, just once, combing it with his fingers. He presses his face into Howie's neck and runs his hands down Howie's arms, resting them on his stomach.

"Brian," Howie pleads, still looking at AJ. "Don't. Please. Not now, I'm not-"

"I love you," Brian whispers, pressing a light kiss to Howie's neck, rocking them both gently. "I love you."

Howie shivers.

AJ moves closer, runs a hand down Howie's arm with a light touch that says we know what you need, we know you, we love you and kisses Howie's cheek. "Lie down," he murmurs, and Howie is too tired to argue. They both lie down next to him, Brian at his front, AJ at his back.

Brian can't seem to stop touching him. His fingers skim first down his cheek, then over his side before finally resting on his hip. Howie looks at him and says, "I should've been there, I should've gotten there faster – she's my sister." He pauses. "Was," he corrects almost impassively, and something in Brian's eyes breaks.

"You did what you could," he says softly. "No one blames you."

"I blame me," Howie replies.

AJ pulls him closer until Howie's spooned against him, AJ's arm wrapped tight around his stomach. Neither he nor Brian speak. They know him too well. Brian moves closer until there's hardly any breathing room left for any of them, but it doesn't matter; none of it matters. He whispers those three words again and rubs their noses together lovingly, and it's such a ridiculous gesture, and Howie almost loses it completely right there.

He doesn't fall asleep once that night. They don't even ask him to try.
 
 
 
Heidi: writercurlykew on October 15th, 2005 01:03 am (UTC)
Oh...the pain, the anguish, the love...

...absolutely beautiful.
Mette: bsb: through these eyesbubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 01:07 am (UTC)
*blush* thank you so much.
Michellegypsyavon on October 15th, 2005 02:46 am (UTC)
That's so heartbreaking. And they're so tender with him. I feel tears burning.

Extremely well done!
Mette: bsb: in concert!bubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 09:20 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! :)
BeckyO: kevin - incompletebeckyo on October 15th, 2005 03:15 am (UTC)
Oh ... so sad, so touching. *sob*
Mette: fandomless: spot of tea luv?bubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 09:21 am (UTC)
Those poor Boys never have it easy. Thanks for reading. :)
I could do that: as close to perfectalwayseven on October 15th, 2005 03:23 am (UTC)
Oh GOD.

Whew. That was just. GAH.

First, I just want to say that I think you are incredibly brave to tackle that subject. Secondly, you freaking wrote the shit out of it. It was beautiful and so heartbreakingly sad and sweet with all the touching and the comforting, but not sappy and cloying as it could have been. You wrote it very sparsely (have no idea if that's a word) and perfectly.

Thank you for this. Even though you made me cry. ;)

Mette: bsb: you sexy-scruffy beastbubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 09:29 am (UTC)
Oh wow. Thank you very, very much. Man, I was terrified of tackling that subject, let me tell you. *LOL* but I'm so glad you thought it worked out. I'm just ... so very honored. Thank you.
lindsey jo: BSB - LYRICS - CBTY - tears I'm cryin'_crumbledstar on October 15th, 2005 05:32 am (UTC)
Mette, hon, when you kill me, there needs to be something else to bring me back.
Because right now, um, I'm dead.

My heart freaking broke so hard for Howie. And his boys were there for him, without even a second thought.

He whispers those three words again and rubs their noses together lovingly, and it's such a ridiculous gesture, and Howie almost loses it completely right there.
*lip quiver*
I must admit, I teared up.
And it's all your fault.

Oh Howie!
Mette: jolie: the sexiest woman alivebubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 09:41 am (UTC)
Dude, Lindsey, stop making me blush. *LOL* but wow, thank you so much. I'm glad such a short piece could still make you feel it. You're such a sweetheart. *loves*
fricky_writer22fricky_writer22 on October 15th, 2005 06:32 am (UTC)
Oh this pained me...paaaaaiiined me. It really hurt. But it was beautifully written. I just wanna join in with Brian and AJ and cuddle and pet Howie.

Wonderful job on this...just...yeah, very well written.

Mandy~
Mette: bsb: a man of faithbubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 09:45 am (UTC)
I wanna join Brian and AJ, too. Poor Howie. But thank you for reading, and thank you so much for the feedback. ♥
fricky_writer22fricky_writer22 on October 16th, 2005 01:23 am (UTC)
Who wouldn't wanna join Brian and AJ?? woo hoo...can I ask for that for Christmas...I've been good, LOL. You're welcome :)

Mandy~
Nik: Aww Sun!findmeakor on October 15th, 2005 08:13 am (UTC)
Aww. I love how Howie looks at AJ, and the way AJ appears to him. And all the lovely touches and assurances. So sad and pretty at once, Mette. :)
Mette: howie/brian: the howie!mattressbubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 09:44 am (UTC)
They're good for each other. Thanks, Nik. :)
Penpensnest on October 15th, 2005 10:01 am (UTC)
Beautifully done.
Mette: bsb: no diggity babebubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 10:06 am (UTC)
Thanks. :)
turlough on October 15th, 2005 12:59 pm (UTC)
So much tension! Very good.
Mette: aj/brian/howie: ot3 lovebubbleforest on October 15th, 2005 03:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D